I was the shy kid through high school.
In a graduation class of over 500 students, I was just one of the crowd. I met girls that I had graduated with but had never seen before when I went to a small college.
Does this sound like you?
Yeh, I know. You are connected with lots of people on social media and email. You may know people all over the world. You interact regularly in Facebook groups or spend time exchanging messages online.
But how many people do you really know? How many do you really have relationships with? How many could you pick up the phone and ask a favor of?
Most of us would probably answer, “Not very many.”
The Internet has made it easy to create lots of long-distance relationships. You know their names. You recognize their faces.
But is this enough?
I don’t think so.
As I said, I was the shy kid in high school. I thought it didn’t matter.
But as I got older, I realized that a very few tightly-knit close friends just wasn’t enough. I realized that there is a whole big world out there, filled with lots of wonderful people.
And sitting back, being quiet, wasn’t the way to get to know them.
SoI forced myself to get out of my protective shell. To talk to people one-on-one. To express my opinions — even when they differed from that of others — but in a way that respected their vie as well.
Sure, I discovered that there are also a lot of “jerks” and “phonies” out there.
But I also discovered wonderful people. People just like me. People who were also shy and waiting for someone to approach them.
I go to the local senior center for lunch and have met some of the nicest people in the world there. I remember that one man told me, “Thank you for taking the time to talk with me and to say hello whenever you see me. Not many people do.” Something that simple made a big difference in his life and I wasn’t even aware that he needed just to be recognized as a person.
Becoming more outgoing didn’t happen overnight.
And, deep inside, I’m still that shy young girl who prefers reading a good book to going out and meeting people.
But I learned that it’s not all that hard to smile, say “Hello, I’m Joyce,” to start a conversation, and even to get up and speak in front of a crowd.
I once ran for City Council. I put my 2 year old and 4 year old in a stroller, pushed it down the streets of our small community and knocked on doors, speaking to people one-on-one. I spoke at events and luncheons, and club meetings. And I won the election.
Why am I telling you this?
Because no matter how connected you are online, you need to get out from behind your computer or smartphone screen.
You have to be a real person.
You must engage person-to-person. Life is full of people that you might genuinely love if you only make the effort to find them.
It takes effort. It takes energy. This is especially true if you’re naturally shy.
I know. Remember I was the shy kid in high school.
And it doesn’t always work. There will be those who rebuff your efforts. There are also lots of jerks and phonies out there that you really don’t want to know. But when that happens, don’t get discouraged. Just pick yourself up and try again.
For me, stepping out of my shell meant winning elections. It meant making lifetime friendships as we moved from town to town. It meant starting businesses, writing, speaking, creating things I’m proud of. It meant meeting people from all over the world — some casual acquaintanes, others deep enough friendships that I can call on them when I need advice, when I need to share frustrations, or when I simply need to feel less alone.
What I’m trying to say is that relationships matter. They matter to your wor, your purpose, and your happiness. But most of all, they matter to your life.
So use every opportunity to get out and meet people. Smile. Say hello. Start the conversation.
You won’t know what can happen until you try.